Educational Facts about Norway

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Lla
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Post by Lla » Sat Feb 25, 2006 12:52 am

Then Gunther is your avatar in the mythological sense
Unless Goo is Gunther' avatar ((7))
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Dark_Dominion
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Post by Dark_Dominion » Mon Aug 28, 2006 11:45 am

Seems they've dug up some new facts about Norway:
Fast Facts

* Norway's real name is Nkrwgl. However, when Russia became allies with aliens, they seized Nkrwgl and changed the name to Norway because they found that easier to say while bashing Capitalism. Silly Russians, Trix are for kids!
* Population: Five billion moose, 4.7 million legal humans, 410,000 Bajorans, 256,000 Ferengi (in the northwestern provinces), 55 million sheep, 1 illegal immigrant and some of the mystery people, Samene. There are also some black metal people here, but whether they should actually be counted as Norwegian citizens is often discussed, as many of these black metallers claim they live in the "underground." More to come at 6:00.
* Capital: Oslo. Name originates from the Russian word "Осло", or "City of Donkeys"/"Eselbyen".
* Official Currency: Record albums from DDE and Sputnik (Black metal bands). A DDE equals 100 Sputnik. A Sputnik equals about #15 or the price of a cup of coffee.
* Alternative currency: Kroner, (Crowns), but the King has the only crown available. Counterfeit crowns are common to sell to new tourists, especially from the United Kingdom.
* Common currency: Most trades are done with sheep, whales, lutefisk, smalahåve or Viking hats with cute little horns. Though the government doesn't sanction these trades, people could care less.
* Economy: Norway has an extremely good economy, the government is one of the wealthiest in the world thanks to astronomical taxes (115% Federal Tax, 60% Anything Tax). Norwegians monthly salaries are equivalent to Bill Gate's fortune, but because of the tax which is 99%, and that everything costs several times more than any other country, the average Norwegian have less money to spend than an asian child labourer.
* Government: A unique combination termed a Federated Satanistic Socialist Monarch Empire.
* Prime Minister: Jens Stoltenberg, after violently deposing Kjell Magne Bondevik in a bloody coup with a baseball bat. However, the Norwegian people are in reality ruled by Jonas Gahr Støre, due to the fact that he is the only Norwegian to appear on CNN history of the known universe.
* Political parties: Fremskrittspartiet, "Where Fascism equals fun!"
* Lion population: Two, sitting in front of the national Parliament very still.
* Tiger population: One, in front of østbanehallen.
* Badger Population: Seven and a half, each are high-ranking Generals of the Nordic Viking/Pirate Army.
* Giraffe population: Quite a few, living in Kristiansand Zoo, or so they would like us to believe.
* Owl population: Over 11 owls are stationed throughout the country on hidden places that will only unlock if you have enough Experience Points (minimum 107 XP). If you are so lucky as to meet one, do NOT expose your shaved heads, as this is the worst enemy of a Norwegian owl. Due to the same reason mullahs with turbans are better friends of the norwegian owls.
* Eagle population: Unknown. The eagle's population growth is so high it is imposible to keep track. They are currently developing their own political party named The Caw.
* Metal Population: About 576780,53. These walk around in the society and burn down churches, screaming scary stuff to each other and painting themselves in the face with white and black stuff they find. They feed on blood and old ladies, and usually own a guitar, a bass guitar or drums. They all dress in black and all have long hair. If you ask them nicely, they will do your dishes and take out your trash.
* Major Exports: Black Metal, Oily fish, web browsers (Opera), widget-toolkits (qt), cold weather fronts, whales, heavy water to terrorist-countries, popsicles and a cookie.
* National Food: "Grandiosa", brand circular cardboard smeared with reindeer testicle paste, and "Lutefisk".
* National Drink: Potato moonshine Karsk on the rocks (rocks may be substituted with stones).
* National Cheese: Brown cheese, a sweet mixture of goat cheese and curds.
* National Bird: Scandinavian Black-bellied Dipper (Cinclus cinclus), localy known as Fooseball. Even though Norway have the White-tailed eagle, that makes the Bold Eagle look like a dwarf colibri, Kjell Magne Bondevik, after a big dispute with George W. Bush and his ego, decided, that we needed a smaller bird not to embares USA. Since Norway don't have any colibris they took the most unknown bird they could dig up.
* Weather: Always the opposite of what's needed, usually snow. Temperatures have been known to rise above -13C, catching a lot of Norwegian off-guard, making them run around naked in the streets cheering.
* Television: is ruled by one man, and one man alone: Jon Almaas.
* Religion: Santanism (They still believe that Santa is the only God), Hermetic
* Other Facts: The Norwegian Polar Bear Wrangler team has won each consecutive Polar Bear World Cup since 1542. This is due to the fact that the Norwegian team is the only team that qualifies, as a team must supply their own polar bears.
* Trivia: If you happen to bump into a Norwegian, please keep in mind that he always knows more about your country than you do; that his average income, level of education, and social status will be higher than yours; and that he will consider his English to be far superior to yours, especially if you're a native speaker of English. By all means avoid double negatives as every Norwegian will confuse language with math and tell you that a double negative ain't no fun. And if you're an American who was born on the same date as a Norwegian, he will no doubt inform you that statistically speaking his existence is twice as probable as yours (due to lower infant mortality rates and greater familiarity with brown cheese).
* Major imports: Everything except the only natural resources, oil and fish, though the Norwegians for some reason export their oil and then import it back again, even though they have the means to refine it.
* National obsessions: Worrying about what people in other countries may or may not be thinking about Norway and Norwegians; debating whether or not homosexual marriages should be made compulsory; finding new ways of laughing all the way to the bank to put money away for God knows when; cursing Sweden, IKEA, etc.; promoting the counterfactual observation that secondhand smoking of salmon is universally harmful; intervening in diplomatic peace efforts when they know they are unwanted in order to boost their ego; and above all it must never be forgotten that Norway is better than all other countries combined.
* Most common couses of death: 1) Eaten by a reindeer 2) Eating undecomposed Lutefisk 3) Meeting a Swede 4) Going to work 5) Heat shock from running around naked in the streets while the temperature is higher then -15°C.

Royalty

Norway is ruled with an iron fist by the country's beloved King Harald V, a King famous for his collection of novelty hats (which reportedly includes over 12 different double-beer helmets) and his unfathomable hatred towards Sweden and everything Swedish. Also the prince of purple Ari Behn / Ari Bein has some power over certain parts of the country: Alta, Glomma, Barkåker, Gjøvik and Nordkapp fall under his dominion. Fortunately for these regions he rules with more of a cotton fist than his father-in-law the King.

The Norwegian king has also founded several health concentration camps for non-smokers throughout the country. He himself was formerly known as a world class athlete but unfortunately he failed to grab the official world ski jumping record in Holmenkollen (the hills of certain death), and now he has gone through numerous surgical operations to correct his appearance.

The probably least known fact about the royal family is that they are a tool of the Kaizers Orchestra (German for: The Emperor's Band). This band is the real power behind the throne of Norway's Stalinist Monarchy, and has decided that anyone who resists them must "Ompa til de dør". This is an ancient Viking mind control method of torture, where the infidels must engage in bone breaking stunts until they die from exhaustion and organ rupture.

Unless it's forgotten, the prime minister is selected from a pool of potential politicians every fourth year based on his or her likelihood of running Norway into the ditch.

Others who dominate Norway are Count Grishnack (greven) and Duke Hank von Helvete. They may in fact be dominating this very entry as you read. But not to worry, they are a benevolent force.

History

Main article: History of Norway.

The history of Norway is that of northernmost group of rich, fish-eating WASPs. It's abundant with Swedes, Danes, cheese, goats, and UN diplomats.

After the Ice Age ended the Stone Age Norwegians were known to be the hairiest and blondest Europeans who babbled a language based on deer grunts and bird cries. They spoke that way until missionaries arrived in the tenth century and taught them to knock off that shit and speak normally. They also taught them how to cook fish (a skill long forgotten in Norway), Odin wasn't real (but Santa was), and the missionary position (this made the gay sex and beastiality of the "Old Days" impossible).

By the 1300's all the Vikings had died out and were replaced by a taller and wealthier breed of Norwegians that populate Norway today. In 1342 King Olaf VI (the Hairy) issued an edict that any adult Norwegian under five foot six and $50,000 annually (the remaining Vikings) be shipped off the reeducation centers in Finland. In 1379 Jæn Haarde of Norway was deemed best banker in Europe, interrupting Michael Schwartz's 23 year streak briefly before Jørgen Holzfüller of Geneva surpassed Schwartz's record in 1425.

Norway was unheard of until King Gustav XII/XIII (who gives a flying fuck) came to power in 1828. His two biggest accomplishments were A) building the Olaf's Palace Kæsinø (complete with gambling, lutefisk cocktails, and sexy waitresses) in downtown Oslo, which became a goldmine overnight and B) going to war with Israel in 1842 to secure Iceland. Israel had God on their side and defeated Norway in the battle of Britain. Norway took a break for coffee and cake at the wrong time and Israel took hold of Iceland. The effects of the Israeli Occupation can be clearly shown by the President's wife. King George II congratulated Israel on its victory by inviting God over for tea on Thursday before seizing Israel in 1843.

The twentieth century was a good time for Norway. The Nazi occupation during WWII was much loved by Norwegians because it made them feel good about themselves. The 1950's onward was a time of Norway getting richer and richer, Norwegians working less and less, and Swedes hating Norway more and more. Oil was discovered in 1956 when a Tromso suburb was destroyed by a flood of "black gloop."

The EU twice tried to force Norway into their union, to make the map on the tellside of those Euro-coins look less like a penis. France vetoed Norway out of the EU the first time; the reason is unknown. Political pundits speculate that they enjoy the penises on their coins.

The famus Norwegian boat "The Fast window" went on reason in black contry. Microsoft, on the other hand, denies having anything to do with this window. They claim that their window is just as slow as before.

In 1916 Norway pissed on Kenya. Kenya has been a developing country ever since.

Culture

Norway is famous for its music. Black metal owns all minds in Norway. The bestestestest band of all bands, is called DDE, wich means Devils Death Ensemble. They have songs called "det går likar no" and "her blir det liv". they are written in an old norwegian language called "Norrønt" (Norse), and are extremely scary. On stage, the vocalist always walks around naked, with only corpse paint on. GO DDE!

It is a well-known scientifically proven un-deniable ultra-fantastic very-fantabulos extremely-reliable 100%-truthy fact that ALL Norweigans ARE Vikings that play black metal. In fact 66.7890654% of Norway's GDP comes from black metal albums and Viking helmets. The most trendy diet in Norway is the diet of raw fish and raw evangelical christan eyeballs along with a side of the traditonal smalahove (smoked sheep brains of the finest taste). The clothing trends are some of the most stylish in the world... the males often wear leather(with their Viking helmets of course!)or opt for the traditional corpse paint(with their Viking helmets of course, you silly goose!). The same goes for females.

Hobbies include: playing black metal, pillaging, pillaging, pillaging, playing more black metal, and why-don't-we-pillage-some-more-and-then-go-home-and-play-black-metal. It is a Norweigan custom to wear your Viking helmet at ALL times or you shall be smitededededed by thy sword. Oh and add making swords to that list.

Norweigan television is one of the most highly praised and awarded in the whole entire world. Concisting of black metal concerts, pillaging reality shows, more black metal concerts, and a Viking culture channel owned by the god Odin(now known as Santa).

All Norwegians are required to worship Santa.

How Odin became known as Santa:

* Odin had and argument with his wife, Pamela Anderson.
* Odin then starts drinkin' WAY too much Mead.
* Odin gains a beer-belly.
* Pamela makes Odin a red fat suit.
* Odin puts it on; then he gets this insane idea of giving presents to them whiney kids.

Transnational Issues

Between 1905 and 2078 Norway fought its War of "independence" against Sweden. The conflict is commonly known as Kjøttbullkriget in Sweden.

Most of the world, along with the Swedish government, holds that Norway is a protectorate of Sweden. Norwegians just look at Sweden as a black spot on the map.

Principalities

The Svalbard islands have been under Norwegian control since 1970, when the 30-year long war with Iceland and Russia was put to an end. The Norwegian Coast Guard has trouble with poor spellers, they usually shoot first and ask questions later.

Interestingly, modern genetics have revealed that Norwegians are the forefathers of every single individual in the whole wide world who truly matters. Einstein's grandparents were Norwegian fisher-farmers who lived relatively far south in the country. Steven Pinker's parents own a leather-procurement factory in Stavanger. George W. Bush was born in a slightly oxygen-deprived Norwegian fjord. And Newt Gingrich has actually never left Norway. His appearance in American politics is purely a trick of the mind.

Military

After the Norwegians converted to the religion "Santanism", they've dropped the axe and use sticks and stones as primary weapons. The military are often dressed in Red Santa clothes, and hide in the bushes. Before they march into battle, they get so drunk that they can't see the enemy. They also get so dehydrated that they crumble apart and blend perfectly with their sandy battlefields. Their enemies are understandably upset with this.

The Norwegian army unwittingly declared war upon the pope and his evil minions, and, in a fortunate turn of events, they were utterly defeated and humiliated.

The Norwegian army is also responsible for attempting an attack on Russia. But the Norwegian soliders where so drunk that they marched to the wrong country. Actually, they didn't even cross the Norwegian borders, and attacked a Norwegian Town called Florø. The Natives in this town didn't defend themselves, instead they joined the army and burried their town with stones and sticks. Ever since, this turn of events has been known among historians as "Florø's paradox".

During the Russian revolution in 1917 B.C. Some of the people in Hammerfest, lead by the former Roman president Julius Caesar, started a march towards Moscow to help their bolchevic comrades. Unfortunantely they were so drunk that they read wrong on a waysign, and started to march against the famous chinese town of Moskus. When they came to the town, they burned down a farm, and then they went fishing in the river.

The NRK is the special forces of Norway. They hunt down people and fill them with ordinary kitchen implements. It's not a pretty sight.

The Norwegian Barfighting Method is the official style of fighting in the Norwegian millitary and is in fact the only thing about the Norwegian army that works. (If you happen to be looking in a different direction, that is.)

Terrorism

The guerilla front of Norway, called "Dænsebænd", are led by a nihilistic and mean-spirited creature whose name, whispered only in shushed awe, is Sputnik. He likes to wear cowboy-gear and is armed with a deadly audio-instrument (see Skrækkspellfæstival). The only weapon law-abiding citizens have against Sputnik is the traditional throwing of Turbojugend hats. This, however, is a controversial weapon, the deployment of which has not been sanctioned by international agreements.

Sputnik once collaborated with the terrorist organization DDE to overthrow the previous Norwegian government. Jens Stoltenberg bears a grudge to this day. It may in fact have caused him to take up bicycling.

The Sami group Popular Front for the Liberation of Lappland engages in vicious terrorism in their struggle for a homeland. Tactics usually consist of screaming for 'erstatning' and encouraging reindeer stampedes, both of which are known to induce fear in the Norwegian populace.

And now for something completely Norwegian:

There's been a war going on in Norway. Not many people are aware of this fact. For a long time, the Wolf tribe and the Sheep tribe have been fighting each other. There are many people that sympathise with these tribes. More specifically, at least two groups of people are sympathising with the Wolf tribe. They are not aware of the fact that the Wolf tribe has brainwashed them, so they follow the tribe blindly. They are known for going to war against the ones that sympathise with the Sheep tribe. The 'warriors' on each side are fierce, and they will never surrender, no matter what. Sometimes, some members of the Sheep tribe scarify them selves on purpose, so they can blame the Wolf tribe. These Sheep are known as 'kamikaze Sheep', and they fear no one. You do not know who they are before you read about them in the news. And then it is too late. You're already dead. So what are you doing reading the newspapers, you dead guy you.

The two groups of people that sympathise with the Wolf tribe, are called Naturvernforbundet (the institution for protecting weak, naturalistic minds), and Natur og ungdom (The Bring-the-lazy-kids-out-in-the-nature organisation). Of course there are groups of people that sympathise with the Sheep tribe too. One of these groups are 'sauebønder', or Sheep farmers. They are helping the Sheep's cause by offering them a place to stay during the winter, and in the summer, they let them out in the forest again. The forests are at their most sheep-friendly during summer.

Other groups Originating in stokmarknes, Børøy mafiaen is known for its many terrorist attacks on the Opus complex, located on the coast of børøya, the largest island in norway. No one knows what they are resisting against, but some has said that they just dont like the color of the complex, and that it should be painted pink. Their attack methods are unconventional, using a mix of fireworks, gasoline, other volatile substances and a good dose of stupidity, which has lead to such incidents as "the great blowing of the sewege pipe on the south wall" known to have taken place on newyearseve 2005. The entire group was caught after this, as some filthy brats couldn`t keep their mouths shut, and this ended in a sentence for three days of labour, which should have been carried out by the entire group as a whole, but, Markus A. Orvik(one of the central figures in the group, accused for having ties with "sissel kyrkjebø" , another resitance leader, using sound as their main weapon.), ended up doing it himself, with little help from the rest of the group!

Indigenous people

There are a lot of natives in Norway. Some of them are dead. Most famous are the lapps ( Or skvett lapps ). There are a lot of different lapps, or samer. The most important are:

Spettsame, rullesame, Sabeltannsame, Spurvesame, Bekkesame, Flatsame, Løvsame, Snesame, Dunksame, Kleggsame, Knoppsame, Lyngsame, Lakkesame, Nakkesame, Flyttsame, Keisersame, Kongesame, Perlesame, Konglesame, Feltsame, Myntsame, Bronsesame, Kjøttsame, Trommesame, Jernsame, Rustsame, Røyksame, Putesame, Melsame, Langsame, Mellomsame, Flaskesame, Kampsame, Veggsame, Flekksame, Gatesame, Vevsame, Speltsame, Trompetsame, Pungsame, Tårnsame, Fluktsame, Fuktsame, Fettsame, Duggsame, Toppsame, Nebbsame, Hornsame, Enkeltsame, Dobbeltsame, Kvartsame, Dykksame, Fittesame, Stokksame, Geirsame, Flettesame, Påskesame, Koppsame, Taksame, Smettsame, Slagsame, Golvsame, Jubelsame, Hullsame, Grovsame, Dykksame, Moskussame, Muggsame, Spermsame, Sjøsame, Morosame, Lapptop, Femtilapp, Hundrelapp and Skvettlapp.

Although he's huge in Japan, the Norwegian multi-artist Mikkjel Anslo is pretty small elsewhere. He grew up in a barn in the countryside. Why did his parents raise him in a barn. Because he was butt ugly. Actually, his grandmother died of an oversized heart attack when she saw him for the first time. Early in his career he became famous locally for his porno-drawings. When he was 16, he started his own company. He began to wear a bag over his head, so no one should see his ugly face. Later, he contacted 'Extreme makeover', but they laughed, and said they did not perform miracles. So, he became a surgeon himself, so he could fix his own face. After winning a Michael Jackson look-a-like contest (he looked a lot like Michael Jackson without the make-up), he started touring the world. Unfortunately, nobody really cared, so after a while, he went back to his country, and became a viking. Once he was one of them, he got the appreciation he was looking for. He just told the rest of the vikings that his face had gotten damaged in battle, and they loved him for it. He later became the prime minister of Norway.(I shall not reveal which prime minister he actually became, as this is part of his everlasting mythos). What happened to the porno drawings. (And what happened to the hyphen?) They are in a museum that no one knows about today. Actually, the museum is so boring that everyone has forgotten it.

Nature

Norway's got lions, bigfeet and tigers, unlike Kenya.

Nearsighted people are illegal in Norway. Therefore most nearsighted people in Norway have been exported to Iowa to form their own colony, and changing their names from Norwegians to Iowegians. In return, the state of Iowa sponsors the first verse of the Norwegian national anthem. It has, however, repeatedly expressed doubts about the notorius second verse.

In the fjords of Norway there are several unidentified creatures. According to old legends, many of them share an uncanny similarity with Nessie of Loch Ness. But since they have not yet been identified, we don't really know.

It has long been believed that Keiko the killer whale died of natural causes during the animal's recent stay in the Norwegian fjords. This turns out to be nothing more than a cover story. Keiko was killed by the local "lænsmanj" (sheriff) after refusing to join his regiment of poorly trained suicide polar-bears. Keiko argued in futility that he was neither a polar bear nor any other land animal and would therefore have difficulties performing his duties on land even though he sympathized with the cause (which was to force the government to withdraw from the United Federation of Planets and join the Klingon Empire). The Lænsmanj, drunk on potato moonshine, would not listen to reason and stabbed the whale to death with his 2-inch pocketknife. A ruthless murder which took a fortnight to complete.

Of Norway's natural assets, the most valuable is believed to be the ground-frost, also known as Tæle (or Tele for a small minority of rich Oslo west-enders who are constantly trying to acquire this asset, consistently undervaluing it). The most famous transaction of Tæle was when Halvdan Svarte bought a great piece of this from his brother, in order to ensure a safe passage across a sound. Needless to say, it mattered little that the ground was frozen 50 feet below him when the water was not, and poor Halvdan suffered the most common Norwegian cause of death.

Sports


The national sport of Norway is called "Milk the Bull While Wearing Suspenders and Skis", and has a high death-rate at approximately 99.2%

Norway is the first country in the world to start a Champion's League of Nightmares. It is fast becoming hugely popular in other countries, though.

Running in the rain/sleet has the dubious honor of being, simultaneously, both the most practiced and the most hated sport in Norway. This is nowadays known as the Norwegian Runner's Rain/Sleet Paradox in climatological circles.

Another famous sport in Norway is called "Island Jumping". This is a sport where contestants jump from one island to another. Another version of this sport is called "Bar Jumping", where contestants go from one bar to another, drink some karsk, and then go on to the next bar. The one who throws up first has lost, and the one who is first to arrive at the nachspiel has won. The popularity of these two sports has resulted in Norwegian bars being spread around various islands on the coast of Norway.

* Norway Sport Accsociation


Soccer


We also have to say something about soccer. Thor The Second Flo has recently made a movie where he shows his best tricks. It is simply called "Suck my balls - the ultimate guide for kickers". The Norwegian hooligans are still as fierce as ever, and many of them are still writing letters on their chest. Some are even writing telegrams. Also, a recent profusion of e-mails has been noted. But the last time they tried to do this, there was one person too many on their team. This led to a lot of confusion. At the last minute, they agreed to do what many reality shows do: they started to vote for someone to leave them. In fact, there was only one person left when they were finished, and he won one million NOK. He can't use the money, because they are not real. Actually, they got the money from a monopoly-game.

Illuminating as the previous paragraph on Norwegian soccer is, a few things need to be added. First of all, Norwegian soccer is dominated by a slightly boring brand of reindeer. They're not boring in the traditional sense, though - they are actually quite interesting. But unfortunately, they're kind of nerdy. Even when they have entertaining points to make, they make them in such a dry and "witty" way, it's enough to drive you crazy. And they're more of a defensive team than a spectator magnet. Also, they have four stomachs, none of which are very entertaining.

Another notable aspect of Norwegian soccer is the widespread use of "complementary beverages". These beverages are universally known to be complimentary. They are often served in glasses. It is considered to be uncouth to drink the glass itself. Only the beverage contained within the glass should be consumed. Once the glass has been emptied of its contents, it should be hurled in the general direction of Sweden.

Others:

* Looting and pilaging peasant villages
* Wooden spoon fencing


Little Known Facts About Norway

* In 1995, 800,000 Norwegians (Norwegian space otters) were enraged by a misplaced comment (referring to the supreme space otter) from Bob The Builder, and ate Paris.
* The Norwegian Jahn Teigen, member of Norwegian Androgynic Silly Artists (NASA), invented the number "0". Later he went on to invent the wheel, and the world has yet to catch up.
* The Norwegian Dan Børge Akerø is the father of the ghastly Rattus norvegicus. He also holds the world record in ginger afro hair. His magic penis has spawned many an unfulfilled plumber.
* Everything involving Norway is worth about half the value of the Danish road structure
* Paris Hilton's grandfather came from Norway, Hilton-feltet, Kløfta (translates cleavage)
* Norway is very big in comparison to much smaller countries. It is also very Norwegian compared to many less Norwegian countries, i.e. Sweden.
* In northern parts of Norway the sun shines all night in summer and it is totally dark in the winter. This is why Norwegians get horny during the summer months and allow their sperm to drift into the Atlantic Ocean from November to February. This is also why they will burn in hell for all eternity.
* It always rains in areas less than 2000 kilometres from the Norwegian coast. This has lead to the creation of advanced languages, notably Northern Norwegian, for the expression of weather conditions. Modern Norwegian has more than a googolplex number of words for various types of rain. English has only twelve, which is laughable.
* The Norwegian tourist agency's motto is "Come to Norway and see how the road network in your own country was 50 years ago."
* The Lappish community (a northern tribe of autocannibals oppressed for not respecting the supreme space otter, and for eating cars) claims to be the forefathers of the afro-americans, as well as the Kennedys/Kennedies. In the 80s they were summoned to Egypt to help build the pyramids. The Lapps were the first people to migrate to the Moon, followed minutes later by Tor Heyerdal. The Lapps are also responsible for the World. Not just all that is wrong in the world, no. The whole bloody world is all their fault. And they're not apologizing.
* Norway invented the micro-processor, but did not realize it's possibilities, so they sold it to the Manhattan Project. They also used to glue a large number of them together and use them as paper weights.
* It is a well-known fact that Norwegians have enormous penises. Sadly, they seldom become erect. However, when they do, it is a truly awesome spectacle.
* During the summertime hundereds of millions of Germans drive around in camouflaged Nazi vehicles and visit all WWII bunkers and such, that were kindly left behind for the homeless after the war.
* In 1985 Michael Jackson died in a car in Voss. He was later ressurected in a norwegian hospital, unfortunately as a white woman.
* Norway also has its own "spring break." But instead of taking off their clothes, like in those popular movies we all admire, the Norwegians all dress up in either red, blue or black unrevealing workclothes (it's a communist thing). Besides, undressing would lead to immediate death by the temperature of -278C during summertime. Atoms would simply stop moving, you see.
* The national anthem of Norway is sponsored by the state of Iowa, and the first verse reads:

Det er Norge som er bra, det er Norge som er best! Det er nordmenn som kan drikke mest og spy vilt på hver eneste fest!(Translation: Oh Norway, country of feet, give to us large brassieres! And maybe some tuna fish, as well, for we are growing hungry! It is time to celebrate the Fish Slapping Festival again!)

* A little known Norwegian student recently won an award for discovering the number "1" and another computer geek called "ParADigM" was awarded the "best number of the year"-award by introducing the number "42"! The very same person did indeed discover the "-symbol. Thank you Norway, we now know binary and the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything!
* The king and Queen are beaten daily by the prime minister. This tradition started yesterday.
* The most common surname in Norway is "Mohammed". Surprisingly, the second-most common surname is "Spank-me-with-a-carrot-until-my-name-changes-to-Mohammed". The third most popular surname is "Smith".


Even Less Known Facts About Norway

* The Norwegian constitution of independence was stolen by the Islamic terrorist group al-Qefir. The al-Quefirs prove their power through having pictures of themselves on the Norwegian kefir-containers (sour-milk cartons). Much to their dismay, no one much cared as the de facto constitution already had segued to the children's novel "Folk og røvere i kardemommeby" (Kasper & Jesper Go Burgling for Pastry).
* This was the first step in the war that the slamic terrorists have started against, in, or possibly between Norway to transform it into a Muslim state. Norway has previously been attempted to be turned into a Christian nation. Much neglected is the half-serious attempt by the World Community of Only Half-Serious Atheists to turn Norway in to a half-serious atheist country. Meanwhile, the Militant Agnostics ("of course there MIGHT be a very small tea-pot orbiting Jupiter") continue to claim that Norway may or may not exist. This uncyclopedia doesn't really know.
* The Norwegian language is one of three in the world that has No Native Vowels (the others being that weird Clicky language from Africa, and the language of the Advanced Supersonic Aluminium Nazi Hell Creatures from Beneath the Hollow Earth). Consonants are used for the entire language, often doubled and occaisionally tripled. Sometimes when a vowel is mandatory, such as when using an English or French word, letters such as B or X are required to dress in drag and masquerede as the needed letter. The lack of vowels in this language is often attributed to the Hawaiian language hogging all the vowels. All of this is true, and the "ue" in true should not be pronounced. Unless you wish to die. Which you don't.
* In Oslo it is against the law to take your lion for a walk on Sundays. On every other day of the week, it is quite OK though. Don't flash your penis though, some people hate that.
* Norwegians actually never consume or use anything they did not kill or gather themselves. This is because they still live very much like how they lived as vikings in the 1980's. There was a dramatic change-over in the mid-1990s though, so from now on it's okay to eat fish. But you have to be nice to them first.
* The dinners provided by restaurants in Norway are mixed with a little bowstring and cow-horns before use. The waiter will always wear yellow socks, but he will also like Sonic Youth. Go figure!
* Norway doesn't actually exist. It is merely a fictitious country used for brainwashing purposes by the CIA. If you believe that you are from Norway it means you have been subjected to mental conditioning. If you actually believe that you are in Norway at present time you are still being brainwashed and is simply imagining the whole thing. The technique was invented by former dutch prime minister Petter U and in turn sold to the CIA. Ironically the CIA used the technique on Petter U, and he now believes himself to be the rightful ruler of a small Norwegian city called Molde, which of course does not exist.
* The famous Finnfjordbotn Vidaregåande Skole (Finnfjordbotn highschool). Made completly out of a single over-sized brick. This is a tourist attraction that no one cares about, in fact, no tourist ever visit it. Often mistaken for an asylum, where there only are four types of people; nerds, jock, hippies and famous cartoons.
* The famous island of Senja may seem beautiful to the tourists, but the fact is that Senja is a Ghetto. It's a Ghetto for all the people with an broad accent in Norway, all cocky people (mainly the boys) and a great population of people with funny walks live on this island.
* Norway floats precariously on a strong underground flow of brie.
* Big Brother was born, and currently resides in, Norway.
* Osama bin Laden is hiding in Kvernevik, Stavanger
* They like sex
* The infamous band Vassendgutane is infact a Shakira side-project. Vassendgutane also were the ones writing the national anthem of Norway.
* Teenage graduate smokers from high-school tend to enroll the immensly popular MASK-course(aka. Mechanics-I-just-want-to-slack-At-School-dont-learn-anything-Knowledge-is-overrated-smoke-and-listen-to-Vassendgutane-while-riding-my-farm-vehicle-to-school) in spite of the ever growing parental warnings.
* In lack of a better expression, young people in Norway tend to use the word "Konge" for anything thats more than average cool. Konge is an ancient title used on satanic warchiefs wich ruled in the southern parts of Norway before they conquered Sweden and Jan Mayen.


Tourist Information

There are 2 supermarkets in Norway, on account of the trees growing too thickly for anyone to be able to get their shopping trolleys to the checkout register. If you somehow manage to find one despite the odds, you should be advised that the names of the foodstuffs may be confusing. This is because bork is the Swedish spelling; Norwegians will be mortally offended at its mere whispered mention. The closest Norwegian equivalent is "bjørk" - please note that for a full and balanced diet, you need both bjørk and other bjørk, or the ever-popular daily multibjørk.

If you decide to wisit Norway be sure to bring lots of money, if you're income is less than 1.000.000$ don't bother, go somewhere else. Every year Germans invade Norway in their mobile homes, Germans are the only people that can afford to go to Norway. This is only because they bring their own place to live and their own food and therefore don't spend any money in Norway. Food in Norway is expensive, a Big-Mac menu costs 11$ and it's not even supersized. A car costs the same as the national budget of a small African country, so most norwegians drive old underpowered cars. The roads of Norway holds a standard equal to the dirt roads in the Amazon jungle. Combined with the old shitty cars driving i Norway is a nightmare.

Gays in Norway

The Most Famous gay Person in Norway is Elias M. Grindheim. He started "The Norwegian Homo clubb"

Norway is ruled by the gay dynasty. This is a dynasty which passes from one gay person to another every month. The gays have set for a modest reformation, which includes the rule that if you have a boring gay club in your area, you will get punished if you try to start a new one. The annual gay-tax for new clubs in 2005 is 95%. These taxes are then used to fund the old gay clubs and stop the new generation from starting clubs which favour fun before money.

The gay dynasty also favours the old-church christians, just so they have someone to fight with. This is the only political group which is allowed besides GDP (Gay Dynasty Party).

Funnily enough, there are still some gay hunting parties left, who scour through the deep, dark forests hunting heterophiles.

If you're a homophobiac, you can go to trøndelag, where gay people are very rare (besides from places like Skaun, Buvika and Hålonda).

Famous Norwegians

* King Harald, Norway's current king. King Harald is said to rule the country with an iron fist, and actually has an iron fist instead of a normal left hand. He has had this ever since evil got into his hand in his younger days, and he had to cut it of with a chainsaw.
* Kristian Vikernes, AKA Varg Vikernes, Former king of Norway, currently in self-imposed exile on a small island outside Bergen
* Elias Godtfred Miranda Grindheim, A famous norwegian student from a school named Smiodden in Kvernevik, Stavanger . He is probably the most famous person in Norway, but nobody knows exactly why
* Kristin Clemet, Exiled Norwegian, now supreme ruler of Propaganda Snoreway.
* Princess Leah, Royal heiress of Norway. Her hats are known to be outrageously big, but so is her heart.
* Carl I. Hagen, The person that learned a country to love and not hate our new fellow country men. He was also the leader of FRP, but he said that they only was thinking about money and he didn't want to be a part of it.
* Mette Marit, Norwegian porn star and famous gold digger. Was once spotted digging gold out of the hindquarters of random passers-by. This did not go down at all well with the Norwegian Gold Diggers Union or the Society of the Ramdomly Passing By, who promptly had her killed.
* Jens Stoltenberg, Working man. Hard at work convincing the good downsitting television viewers that he is worthy to wield supreme power over the national four-year plan. Also likes riding his bicycle naked while whistling the national anthem of Angola. Has sixteen daughters, all of them members of his naked bicycle cabinet. His 26 sons are somewhat boring, but one of them is destined for greatness.
* Wolfgang Quick, Infamous inventor. And a real hunk of a man.
* Kjell Magne Bondevik, former prime minister of Norway who was abducted by aliens in 2005, also known for his reign of terror between the years 2001 and 2005. Thousands of Norwegians died, some of them not even from old age.
* Fridtjof Nansen, famous nationally for almost making it to the North Pole. Yes, really.
* Ronny Amundsen, famous internationally for actually making it to the South Pole. Infamous nationally for stealing Nansen's ship to do it.
* Asgeir, Rebellious leader of the Terrorist organization "Extreme Oppussing". Also called The Boss of all bosses. His hair is stained from the blood of all his victims.
* Jon Almaas, the ruler of Norwegian television. Very clean.
* Thomas Berg, "The Adviser", aka "Mr å"
* Vidkun Quisling, the only Norwegian known beyond Europe.*
* Børre the Modern Popsicle Norways by far most popsicle-like carbon-based entity. As far as flavoured ice cream on sticks go, he remains in a class of his own. Also a passable impersonator of famous earlobes.
* Jahn Teigen, professional skeleton, member of Norwegian Androgynic Silly Artists

(NASA)

* Ole Brumm, The Norwegian defence minister who said the world famous words: "Ja takk begge deler" (Two beers or not two bears that is the question and the answer to world peace in the middle east). He also wrote the famous Oslo agreement.
* Mullah Krekar, a famous kurdish-born Norwegian freedom fighter. Although Kurds do hope that he will some day return to Kurdistan to receive honours for dispatching thousands of traitors and infidels, Mullah Krekar maintains his loyalty to his new Fatherland.
* Sandra Lyng Haugen, Nationally known for being one of the front persons in the Norwegian part of the Worldwide Mafia-cartel, called "Idol". She "blew" herself to the top...
* Kurt Nilsen is the leader of the cartel called Idol. Also known for his terrible lack of humour, terrible voice, and being a cousin of Bilbo Baggins. Has occasionally spent time in a vat of caviar on top of a giant baboon. But pays his taxes.
* Pia Haraldsen Former stepdaughter of Queen Sonja of Norway's brother until recently when her mother was dumped and Pia went public in Norwegian media and claimed that her mother was broke and was now attending Norwegian wellfare services. Norwegians are now working on selling Pia to their neighbour country Sweden. Rumours has it that the Sweeds will only accept the deal in exchange for Thomas Quick which is considered to be a good deal for the Norwegians.
* Helene Rask She's a fucking sexy lady. Everyone want's to touch her boobs and pussy.
* Knut Hamsun
* Miss Papaya
* Do-draugen He is the chief of the ministry of culture and education. He proves his creativity by lurking in peoples toilets and puts a finger up their rectum when theyre about to take a dump.


Major Cities

The Statue of Aalesunds and Norways famous redhead midget, John Arne Riise from Aalesud
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The Statue of Aalesunds and Norways famous redhead midget, John Arne Riise from Aalesud

* Oslo - while the official capital of the country, it is also a gigantic sociological experiment that failed miserably in 1975. However, nobody has informed the people who live in the city that the experiment is over.
* Røros - This has to be the most hostile city in Norway, controlled by the iron fist of Hufsa. Dominated by naked people dancing on roofs.
* Minneapolis - the capital of the Norwegian colonies on the American continent.
* Saltdal - The national city of Norway, also the true capital.
* Bergen - Populated entirely by fishmongers, Bergen was one of the biggest cities in Norway until the Japanese attacked the city in 1905; they blamed Saddam Hussein for their actions.
* Bømlo - Bømlo is populated by avid churchgoing fishmongers and sheep. Vikings live here. Grue-sightings are not infrequent. Bømelulu is currently an important location for research on compulsive-pharyngeal disorder, characterized by random o-sounds in speech and loss of bodily equilibrium.
* Trondheim - hotbed of the national championship Moustache Fighting League, it is the only city in Norway where people are born without teeth.
* Svelvik - Norways most important town. Late capital. May be it again.
* Hell - the outermost circle of Trondheim. Hell hotell is one of the most popular hotels in Norway.
* Steinkjer - The Rome of Norway, known for its beautiful architecture, romantic restaurants and busy clubbing. Even the vikings deserted it.
* Heggedal - Not really a city, but a black hole that is slowly devouring the rest of Norway.
* Tromsø - An exact replica of Paris, at 1:10 scale
* Bodø - Capital of the Scandinavian undead, this is an unholy place and the home of zombies and vampires. The name of the city translates to "Live dead".
* Vardø - A town that was resently taken over by the Space Otters after being ruled by the zombies and undead Scandinavians (just like in Bodø). The name changed after the otters took control of the town. It was called Erdø before (which means "Is dead"), but is now called Vardø, or "Was dead". The city council is debating whether or not to change the name to Harvørtdø, or "Has been dead", although a significant number of prominent citizens are campaigning for the name Skullekanskjehavørtdødmenleverfortsattikkeheltdødmenmankanjoalltidshøpe, or "Should maybe have died but is still not quite dead but one can always hope". The local road sign-maker is, it goes without saying, firmly behind this last alternative. Some dyslectics remain unconvinced, though.
* Spydeberg - Probably the only major city in Norway where children are given Subaru-cars when graduating from kindergarten. But this is not an established fact. We are dealing with probabilities here. Live with it!
* Stavanger - populated entirely by dropouts from the Bergen Academy of Fishmongering, Stavanger is the only remaining city where there still lives Vikings. This is the place for those who's looking for asskicking rock-music and beer drinking thugs.
* Haugesund - founded by angry Germans, see Rammstein
* Kristiansund - the evil twin-city of Kristiansand
* Bærum - well, less of a city, more of a semi-benign population outgrowth, close to Oslo.
* Asker - wannabe Bærum
* Heggedal - The first rule of Heggedal is, do not talk about Heggedal.The second rule of Heggedal is, DO NOT talk about Heggedal. The third rule of Heggedal is, thou shalt not covet thy neighbors ass.
* Husnes - not worth mentioning further.
* Komagvær - Where farmers are held as slaves by 16 sheep, in this former capital of Norway all the people are either dead or have become slaves of the sheep hive.
* Kongsberg - The absolutely most important library city in the world, and the mountain from where Norway mines its kings.
* Eidsvoll - The most dangerous city in Norway, evident from it's name, which translates to "HIV violence".
* Kopervik - Well known for it's beautiful women with very big... eh... eyes! And its unparalleled sense of humour.
* Brønnøysund - This is the most secret town of all of Norway. Not even the people who live there knows were it is. This is were the national database of keiko-killing techniques is placed. Here is also a mountain with a hole right through it, called the Hell Hole
* Jessheim - Arguably the warmest city in Norway, the inhabitants customarily wear no clothes. This has also lead to Jessheim being the film-capital of the country, and as of 2005 over half of the city's inhabitants has at some point in their lives appeared in erotic movies.
* Drammen - Is most known for being situated on the top of Mt. Konnerud. The governor of Drammen is Svein Krogstad, a former used-car salesman.
* Grønfjelldal - Where people get drunk, have sex and learn to drive at early ages. It also has it's own song.
* Beiarn - Uhm, we just don't talk about Beiarn...
* Bardufoss - The 86th biggest city in Norway.
* Halden - still controlled by the Romans, presently under the rule of Guvernor Fabio Luigi Octavius IVXIII
* Hellesylt - Fluffy little town in the end of a fjord, actually the last remaining feral fjord in the world and the only fjord in Norway that has not been tamed. In the summer Hellesylt is a tourist magnet, in the winter, it's white.
* Geiranger - Another fluffy little town, near Hellesylt. Often seen as a forest with a with many treehouses from a cruiseship. Its fluffiness may in fact be slightly more fluffy than Hellesylt's. But they're both pretty fluffy.
* Sverige is one of the biggest cities in Norway. This is where the norwegians send all the retarded people. This city is known in other countries as Sweden.
* Spania is where most of the old people and the members of FrP are living. They spend their days complaining about all the foreigners in Spania.
* Mo i Rana - also known as Mo i Ræva, the habitants of Mo i Rana is also participating in a sociological experiment. The results are amazing, the scientists have recently discovered a new breed of monkey. Also known by the initials S.V.P. The scientists were initially quite excited about this new discovery, but it turned out that all these monkeys were sort of lame.
* Skreia - The coldest city in Norway, where all the 'famous' people come from. Skreia lie in Toten famous for it's alcohol, and potatos.
* Skjetten - Is universily famous for inventing the Lego-blocks and being the only place where people actually live inside them. (The Lego-blocks)
* Arendal - Means "Valley of Eagles", but just as well mean "Valley of die-hard-rednecks" formerly known as norway's venice, now known as the city that screwed up their fame by filling up all the canals with sand in order to build more parking slots. Arendallits (people from arendal) are frequently known for driving meaninglessly around in the streets with heavy trance, as well as wearing Marin Alpin jackets. Famous in Norway for "Rutebilstasjonen", "The Timetablestation",were people in red-and-white sweaters bought "rifla pømmfri" with Thousand Island, but alas, it has been demolished to make place for a Culture House, which most of all resembles a giant, lying, keg of oil, perfectly picturing the Norwegian folk-spirit. Arendal is also known for extreme possessive-endings. Ex: "Hvis det ikkje e deises, hvemses e det døses?" Meaning: "If it is not theirs, who does it belong to then?" A phrase you have to know if travelling in Arendal: "Ja, det e no' jegla drid!", meaning: "Oh, that's a shame." (Arendalitts are always pessimists, in comparison to their arch enemies, the Kristiansanders, who are always happy, and often want's you to join their local church choir, as they are the best to convince in Norway.)
* Grimstad - Arendal's neighbouring city. Even more of a redneck dump. If the Arendalits hate the Kristiansanders, the people from Grimstad really really really really really really really really really really really REALLY hate the Arendalits. Why this is is not known. It is believed to have something to do with jealousy, but that's just stupid. Why should the people of Grimstad, a small, wodden-house-based provincial shithole be jealous of the people of Arendal, a slightly bigger shithole? It may, however, have to do with Jon Gelius, The Gayest Norwegian TV-Personality Ever(excepting Ivar Dyrhaug) being an Arendalite. Or it might be because Arendal has, like, two more people living there. On other notes, Grimstad plays host to The Norwegian Shortfilm Festival, a festival for people fond of walking around with their heads stuck as far up other people's asses as possible while "networking". Oh, and shortfilms, of course. The city is also the home of Thor Hushovd, a cyclist who was cloned from Belgian Blue, a big fucking cow, and Dag-Otto Lauritzen, also a cyclist, but not a clone. Or at least, not to our knowledge.
* Sandefjord Was one of Norways most important cities in the "War against the whales"
* Otta Was the most inportan city in the "war of kringla"
* Porsgrunn The bellybutton of Norway!
* Vigrestad
* Grünerløkka
* Sortland or Black Country. The base for all black metal bands in Norway. Local forces has tried to improve the towns image by marketing itself as The Blue City, but the local rulers crushed this effort by stealing the pallette and making it ugly. Also base for the awardwinning-speed-black-death-metal-thrash-band Madrugada. This is also the place that invented the Fishball.
* Andenes A village of ducks. The only place in the known universe where the wind blows from all directions simuntaniously. Sienctists have concluded that the winds are generatet by a black hole in the middle of the town-square, sucking in all the air. It is said that Bob Dylan wrote the song "Blowing in the wind" here, after receiving a fellatio during the infamous "Rock-med-rus" festival in '69.
* Myre A village that is exporting a lot of fish and importing a lot of Ford Granadas. Both are valid currencies there.
* Bø A scary place by the cost, known for its breath-taking beauty. The roads here are made by the famous rollercoaster designer Hendry T. Ford.
* Narvik A place close to the Sweedish border, which is why a lot of tourists come to Narvik. But the Sweedish stores actually charges you in Norwegian lutefisk, so there's no point in buying anything there.There is a local TV station, but it never actually shows anything from Narvik, just from Harstad. At this tv channel you can see what happened in Harstad up to 1 month ago. All webpages in this area are made by Frontpage, and most people hates alternative browsers from Internet Explorer.
* Stokmarknes The real capital of norway, known to have bred such celebrities as Sivert høiem, singer in the before mentioned "Madrugada", known for his howling across the world. 90% of the worlds *Kitten plant production also originates here, sold and distributed by the "nigga hoes", a gang of immigrants, with huge pants and bandanas.


Important Northern-Norwegian Cultural Phrases

* Hello - Jeg har røyken bak øret og aner ikke hvor sigaren er...
* Hello dear - Du har tatt siggen min! (don't smile, just nod)
* It's sunny - Får jeg pule deg??
* Greetings, I come in peace - Hent jakka di, du har fått napp.
* How are you today? - Du ser litt bleik ut. Vært på fylla siden forrige torsdag igjenå
* I am your long lost grandson - Få se på maten din, far.
* Goodbye - Har du grandiosa?
* Thank you, Police-officer - Denne sekken er full av heroin!
* Where is the bus station? - Jeg har nettop drept noen og hvis du sier noe er du ferdig.
* I'm sorry - [Non-existent. Norwegians are never sorry. Ever. It has been rumored that an Norwegian uttered these words once, but this doesn't really count since he was holding the severed head of the person he was apologising to.]
* I have lost my passport, can you help me? - Allah er stor! Imorgen vil profetens ord seire en gang for alle! (try to imitate a poor middle-east accent in order to be fully understood.
* I have lost my luggage - Det er en bombe i skoen min
* I love you - du er ikke så støgg at det gjør noe. Pule?
* Please - [non-existent. asking for something nicely in Norway is very frowned upon indeed. In fact, people carry baseball bats and tasers for such occasions.]
* The weather is nice in Bergen today - (Non-existent. It rains 24-7 in this city)
* I've had a wonderfull trip to Norway! - Dette er den kjipeste ferien noensinne, landet består bare av bønder, pakistanere, narkomane tiggere og verst av alt: DEG!
* Excuse me, can you show me the nearest ATM? - Hei kompis, kan jeg bomme noen spenn til "en kopp kaffe"?
* Wheelchair - CP-Truck
* Shark - Kjempe-torsk
* Banana - Pikk
* I don't love you!! - Du er så stygg at det gjør noe
You are all figments of my imagination!
When Jesus died it took him 3 days to respawn due to lag."
"In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded."
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Belladonna
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Post by Belladonna » Mon Aug 28, 2006 2:37 pm

I can't read all of the post, DD. It gets cut off on the right side. I was barely able to hit the reply button. Did you do some weird cut&paste? How come I didn't get a side to side scrollbar like usual? And why do I get the feeling those helpful hints at common cultural phrases aren't quite accurate? :blink:

007 KeKs
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Post by 007 KeKs » Mon Aug 28, 2006 2:47 pm

AAH a multilangual thread then ill mix a bit german in it:

Seid ihr alle bekloppt dass hier hier alle Norwegisch sprecht oder wat??!? Sone scheisse hier macht kein Spa?, aber ein Gl?ck versteht mich hier keiner :grin:

:thumb: :bonk:

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Dark_Dominion
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Post by Dark_Dominion » Mon Aug 28, 2006 4:19 pm

Belladonna wrote: I can't read all of the post, DD. It gets cut off on the right side. I was barely able to hit the reply button. Did you do some weird cut&paste? How come I didn't get a side to side scrollbar like usual? And why do I get the feeling those helpful hints at common cultural phrases aren't quite accurate? :blink:
Try a different browser :grin:
You are all figments of my imagination!
When Jesus died it took him 3 days to respawn due to lag."
"In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded."
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Post by Spawn » Mon Aug 28, 2006 5:17 pm

Belladonna wrote: I can't read all of the post, DD. It gets cut off on the right side. I was barely able to hit the reply button. Did you do some weird cut&paste? How come I didn't get a side to side scrollbar like usual? And why do I get the feeling those helpful hints at common cultural phrases aren't quite accurate? :blink:
Ahh.. firefox :P

try IE :thumb:

and your feeling is right about how helpful the text is, I'm pretty sure
you'd get a few angry comments :P
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Post by sonic goo » Mon Aug 28, 2006 8:42 pm

aber ein Gl?ck versteht mich hier keiner
Haste ja gedacht! :o :P :D :lol:
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007 KeKs
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Post by 007 KeKs » Mon Aug 28, 2006 9:05 pm

Ach sei doch ruhig^^ Dir glaubt ja eh keiner was ich gesagt hab :lol:

//edit
WTF DU KANNST DEUTSCH?!?!?!

sonic goo
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Post by sonic goo » Tue Aug 29, 2006 12:00 am

Ich bin Hollaender - ich spreche Alles. :lol: :lol:
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Post by 007 KeKs » Tue Aug 29, 2006 8:21 am

Aahh!! Holland, der Feind!! :lol: Scherz^^
Warum hast du das nicht vorher gesagt?? :thumb:

sonic goo
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Post by sonic goo » Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:16 pm

Weil ich mir nicht darauf vorstehen lasse. Und ich leb in Ierland. :)

Anyway, my real name is Harald. You now have permission to bow to me. :lol:

*puts on silly hat*
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